Choosing Life When Cancer Strikes

You get the best news of your life, a baby is on the way, and then 14 weeks into the pregnancy everything flips. A cancer diagnosis happens in the midst of the celebration. Suddenly every appointment comes with a question no family wants to answer: can we fight for mom and protect the baby at the same time?
 
 This week Ryan Tremblay joins us to share his sister’s story. Erica Shea was diagnosed with stage four inflammatory breast cancer while 14 weeks pregnant. Ryan walks us through what the doctors told them about pregnancy hormones, why some medical professionals urged his sister Erica to “put herself first,” and how real the tradeoffs can be when treatment decisions intersect with an unborn child’s life. From a pro-life and Christian perspective, we wrestle with what the sanctity of life means when it costs something, and how faith can anchor a family when fear is loud.
 
 We explore the legacy Erica left behind through her children and how grief can become purpose. Ryan offers practical guidance for families facing a crushing prognosis: slow down together, lean into prayer and community, care for your body, and remember your why.
 
 If Erica’s story moves you, share this with someone who needs hope, subscribe for more conversations on life issues, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

Transcript

Pregnancy Meets A Cancer Diagnosis

Ryan Tremblay 0:03

When you're pregnant, right, those estrogen levels increase, and that will ultimately feed the cancer and make it sort of this cyclone. And so she knowingly chose life for her child, even though this cyclone of sorts, as the pregnancy advanced over time, was going to take place. So I'm pretty sure for her life expectancy, doctors were saying, listen, Erica, you know, if you terminate the pregnancy, then your chances of survival are going to be greater. We don't know how long, but chances are your life would go on longer. And I think that therein lies the true sacrifice.

Victor Nieves 0:54

Imagine finding out that you're pregnant or that your spouse is pregnant. No doubt it's one of the greatest days of your entire life, and your mind immediately begins to race with all of the wonderful things that are to come. Maybe your child's first day at school, or maybe their high school graduation, their prom, the day that they get their driver's license. This is going through the mind of many parents. Only days or weeks later, however, you find out, unfortunately, you have cancer. It would be a heartbreaking moment, and immediately questions would begin to twirl in your mind, what's going to happen? How bad is the cancer? Is my baby going to live or die? Is there a way for me to both fight for my life while also fighting for the life of my child? And unfortunately, there are circumstances where that becomes very, very difficult. As pro-lifers, we know that human life begins at the moment of fertilization, that every human being is fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God, and we should do everything that we can to protect both lives, if at all possible. Research shows that cancer during pregnancy tragically affects approximately one in 1,000 pregnancies, meaning that this scenario is far more real for far more people than some of us may initially

Erica’s Story And The Stakes

Victor Nieves 2:11

realize. And that was the case for a woman named Erica Tremblay. She was only 14 weeks pregnant when she was tragically diagnosed with severe breast cancer. She made the choice to save her baby. And as you'll hear her story today from her brother Ryan, who deeply loved her and continues to love her child, Erica made a decision to save her baby's life. She went above and beyond. She had a terminal diagnosis of cancer, and doctors believed that if she was to abort her child, if she was to pursue chemotherapy and the different treatments, that perhaps her life could be extended. But she knew that it would likely come at the cost of her unborn child. And she made the decision, as heartbreaking as it is, to lay down her own life, to save the life of her child. The Bible tells us that there is no greater love that a man can have but to lay down his life for another. And that's what she chose to do. She went above and beyond the call of duty. She went above and beyond in an act of tremendous, selfless love for her child. We're joined today by her brother Ryan Tremblay. He's a Nashville-based Christian recording artist, a speaker, a husband, and a father of triplet boys. He was originally from Rhode Island. His music and ministry are deeply shaped by his faith, his family, and his personal testimony. Ryan, thank you so much for joining us today.

Ryan Tremblay 3:36

Thank you so much for having me, Victor. I really appreciate it.

Birth, Goodbye, And A Song

Victor Nieves 3:51

Ryan, for the sake of our listener, you and your family, you have a very unique, a very powerful circumstance that you all have navigated, and I have so much respect for the way that you and your entire family handled all of this. If you don't mind, I think the best place for us to start today, do you mind sharing your sister Erica's story and your whole family's story?

Ryan Tremblay 4:12

Yeah. Back in December of 2014, my older sister, Erica Shea, was diagnosed with stage four inflammatory breast cancer. And the kicker of it all is that she was 14 weeks pregnant when she was diagnosed with this cancer. So she had a choice to make. It was either to choose life for her child in her womb or abort. And my sister heroically decided to keep the pregnancy. And through much suffering, while she underwent treatment for the cancer, she was able to successfully give birth to our beautiful niece, Ella Gianna Shea, who is now 10 years old. And uh she was born on April 29th, 2015, and that was just two months prior to my sister passing away. And we say passing away, but we know with great hope that she was welcomed into the arms of our Lord and Savior. There was a peace in the room that day, Victor, when she passed. I happened to have my acoustic guitar with me, and I brought it in to console her with some songs because I knew the hearing is the last thing to go as you're moving from this life to the next. And so I played a couple of songs for her. I played I Don't Know, which was one of her favorite original songs of mine. And then I followed that with Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone. And after Amazing Grace, My Chains Are Gone, she breathed her last breath and went on to be with Jesus. And uh one of the nurses told me that day, Victor, that it was a bridge. That song was a bridge for her from this life into eternity. And I thought that was such a beautiful way to put it. And so that's only a six-month, very quick summary, if you will, of what transpired during those months, right? But uh the reason those months are so important is because it brought our family together in a way that we had probably never played the game of family like that before. If you if you want to think of family as a game, we knew as soon as that diagnosis came that it was time to put on the gear, put on our armor of faith, and be there for each other. And it was a time to let go of resentments. It was a time to let go of anything that had happened in the past that wouldn't support Erica and just support her as best we could. So it was um my sister would actually probably describe that as a gift, even though most would probably describe it as some sort of curse, you know, just the whole series of events. But it was Erica's strength, it was her faith, it was her determination to do the right thing despite the challenging circumstances that too brought us together, and we're still more united than ever in some ways because of Erica's life and legacy.

Medical Pressure And A Hard Choice

Victor Nieves 6:58

Ryan, take us back a little bit more into that moment. I can only imagine you you said that she was pregnant at the time that she got the diagnosis. That would rock your world in a way that most of us can't even wrap our head around. What was it like for her? What was it like for the family? I know you said you rallied around. It was a moment to drop any of the, you know, every family. You might bicker back and forth with siblings and there's hiss, but it all was wiped away in that moment. What was the deliberation? Was it a difficult choice for Erica? Was there pressure from maybe the hospital and the medical professionals? Were they trying to lead your family into a particular decision? What was that like?

Ryan Tremblay 7:36

Yeah, so I know for Erica, and it's depicted very well in the movie, without a doubt, that my uncle actually directed and produced about Erica's story. Abby Johnson plays herself in that film. And what's so beautiful is that that conversation took place in real life. Erica, I don't want to say not knowing what choice she should make, but needing a friend, needing a strong voice for Christ. She reached out to Abby Johnson and said, if there's anybody who can speak life into my situation, it would be Abby. And sure enough, she had a conversation with Abby again, as depicted in the movie. And that conversation gave Erica the courage to not be alone in the journey. I will say that doctors and even family members were supporting Erica. And what that meant to them was Erica should put herself first, right? And Erica was supporting Ella in her womb and putting her daughter first. And so that was the tension was this idea that Erica could see the, I don't want to say invisible, because an ultrasound would show very much that Ella was visibly alive and in her, correct? But to the world, sometimes, because a baby is not outside of a woman's womb, they may treat that baby as less than alive, less than real, which Erica knew better than to proceed with that line of thought. So she was very good, you know, about taking that time to select sort of, you know, her team of people who could help her fight for Christ and fight for her child. And I think that between you and me, Victor, and all the listeners, I can say with confidence that there's no regrets that Erica had about the decision that she made. And everybody was better for it. And this next generation, I think, is better for it as Ella comes to know of her story even more and the impact that it can have. You know, she really is living in many ways Erica's legacy and so much a real part of it. So yeah, she did an outstanding job of quieting the voices of the world, selecting very carefully the people she would consider to be on her A team or, you know, the C team for Christ, if you want to call it that. She did a very good job of saying, these are my people who are gonna help me, you know, live this call out, live this mission. She was amazing.

Estrogen, Prognosis, And Sacrifice

Victor Nieves 10:07

Ryan, when the diagnosis, the cancer diagnosis first came down, you mentioned that there were, you know, some medical staff who they wanted her to put herself first. And you can understand where they're coming from when they do that. Was it the opinion of the doctors, the physicians, that an abortion would increase your sister's chances of beating the cancer?

Ryan Tremblay 10:28

Yeah. So ultimately, as I came to understand, estrogen levels during pregnancy, not my specialty by any means, this realm here, but uh what I came to understand was that when you're pregnant, right, those estrogen levels increase and that will ultimately feed the cancer and make it sort of this cyclone. And so she knowingly chose life for her child, even though this cyclone of sorts, as the pregnancy advanced over time, was going to take place. So I'm pretty sure for her life expectancy, doctors were saying, listen, Erica, you know, if you terminate the pregnancy, then your chances of survival are going to be greater. We don't know how long, but chances are your life would go on longer. And I think that therein lies the true sacrifice. The fact that knowing that aborting could have in any way helped her chances of survival, the fact that she declined and said, Come what may, I'm going to stand firm in my decision for my daughter. It was heroic, saintly, right?

Victor Nieves 11:32

Do you know, Ryan? Obviously, there's a degree of speculation whenever it comes to any diagnosis and what the odds of survival are. Do you know if the doctors believed that she would survive and defeat the cancer if she had the abortion, or was it more prolonging her life?

Ryan Tremblay 11:47

I would say that it was more prolonging her life. In the movie, without a doubt, the actress Stacey Saunders does an incredible job of portraying my sister's character. And my uncle did a wonderful job writing that script, again, based on true events. And when you ask that question, Victor, I go back to the scene in the movie where Dr. Corsi, uh played by Kevin Sorbo, gives Erica the diagnosis. And Erica's character says, So I'm a goner, is what you're telling me, right? Meaning this diagnosis is so extreme. Stage four inflammatory breast cancer that has spread to the spine, right? It spread to the bones. And Erica knew in that moment that this was not going to be an easy recovery, so to speak, or that that was guaranteed. She fought the good fight. And what's amazing is I actually have footage that I took on my iPhone in the hospital room with Erica and Ella. So Erica's holding Ella after giving birth soon after, and she said, Mommy and I telling Ella this, mommy's going to beat this cancer, and we're gonna tell the whole world our story, and you know, you're a miracle, Ella, and God's gonna grant me a miracle. You know, she kept on believing despite the odds, right? But I would say that she knew enough to take it in stages, you know, stage one, fight the good fight until I can give birth to Ella. Stage two, fight the good fight as long as I can to go ahead and then be a good mom to Ella. And that footage is precious and it speaks volumes to how she kept on believing, you know, despite the odds. But I would say that, you know, maybe the doctors, Victor, had second thoughts too, because they didn't know whatever they originally said, they didn't know if Ella was going to make it. They didn't know if Eric was going to make it, even to the pregnancy point. So who knows if they then said, well, she's already beat the odds. This is a miracle. Maybe she can beat the cancer. You know, who knows kind of what the doctors were thinking day to day as this journey progressed. But I will say my sister kept the faith till the very end. And she opened her eyes before she passed away as I was singing Amazing Grace. She she opened her eyes and it was almost as if she was going to say something to us. Don't know what those words were going to be. But my mom was in the room, I was in the room, her husband was in the room, and it was a very powerful thing to see her keep the faith till the very end, despite

Ella’s Future And Family Legacy

Ryan Tremblay 14:11

the odds.

Victor Nieves 14:11

Absolutely. You know, Ryan, as you share your sister's story and the story of your entire family, it just stands out to me how much Erica went above and beyond. She went truly above and beyond. And I believe it's because of a tremendous respect for the sanctity of life, for the unborn baby inside of her. You know, it's even biblical. We're told, no greater love than to lay down your life so that somebody else may live. And that's exactly what Erica did. She fought tooth and nail till the very end, facing a negative prognosis that, like you said, the doctors, they didn't even know if she would make it until the point of delivery. But she fought and fought. The story is just, I mean, it's inspiring to me. And now my attention is shifting to your niece, to Ella. I mean, oh my goodness, what an incredible to know that your mother was that kind of hero. What is it like for your whole family, but particularly for her daughter to hear the story? What an incredible mom. What an incredible act of love. To fight so hard and to, you know, oh my goodness, it's an inspiration to me. I can only imagine. So, what has Erica's story done for your entire family, for your walk with Christ, for the way that you view the world?

Ryan Tremblay 15:16

Yeah, I mean, I can speak for myself, Victor. And I know every day I think about, and even today's conversation with you, right? I mean, it becomes real over time, even though it was real 10 years ago. It becomes more real and more powerful when I can speak about this with people who truly care. And, you know, sometimes in the day-to-day, when life gets busy, it's easy to forget. But I think, you know, that was one thing that Erica maybe feared was, you know, being forgotten. I remember my mom said that at one point. She said, you know, Erica didn't want to be forgotten. And I think, again, I appreciate you reaching out to have this conversation because as for Ella, you know, I think like all of us, maybe in the busyness of life, or as she has people speak into her life who care about her mother and her mother's story, and she becomes more aware, it's gonna become very important. It's gonna become super powerful that she looks at her mom as a saint and then hopefully, in many ways, tries to become that, you know? And I think for anybody listening, that is the reminder in the busyness or that's the challenge, right? That's the movement, if you will. If there was some sort of movement that Erica started, it's this idea that you can give of yourself and sacrifice for those around you as you're called to. And why are we doing that? We're doing that not for our glory, not for our sake, but we're doing it for Jesus. We're doing it for the kingdom, we're doing it for a heavenly reward that sometimes even when on earth it doesn't even make sense, you know, would it certain people might write it down as just a sort of bad story, not a good one. Heaven has a way of rewriting what doesn't look positive and making it, you know, look miraculous. And I feel like to sort of sum that all up, the more that we take time to remember Erica, the more that we take time to pray for her offspring, because she didn't just leave behind Ella, she also left behind a two-year-old son at that time as well, who's now 12 years old. So to pray for her children, to pray for her, you know, husband who is now remarried, you know, to continue to pray for them and and their journey and Erica's legacy remains at the forefront. That's important. And uh, and I can only say that as Ella grows in wisdom and in grace, she's going to definitely feel loved. And and that's

Grief Turned Into Music And Ministry

Ryan Tremblay 17:44

important.

Victor Nieves 17:44

Ryan, your story's obviously it's been impactful for me and for the listener. I can only imagine over the years, the story of Erica and your whole family, it's definitely inspired many people. It's changed hearts, it's changed minds in your life. How have you seen it impact those around you?

Ryan Tremblay 18:00

Yeah, so I think that part of my grieving process was to write music and to share that music and to share Erica's story. So, in a very special way, I feel like she, in some ways, from heaven, gave me permission to carry her ministry on through the ministry that I had already started as a musician and speaker. And I will tell you that my sister told me before she passed, she said she always wanted to go on tour with me. And so I felt as though honoring her through music, telling her story as a part of what I do, that I was taking her on tour, that I was ultimately doing the best I could to keep her memory alive. And I would say through sharing my own music, I wrote a song for her particularly called Until We Meet Again. And what's incredible is as I am out there in front of audiences sharing her story beyond the realm of family and friends who knew about it, but even strangers, when I share her story when I sing the song, it's amazing how people open up and they say, Wow, your sister was a saint. She was incredible. And then they will go on to share their stories of love, their stories of loss and heartbreak and redemption ultimately and joy. And so I would say that Erica is still working, you know, from the heavens. She's working powerfully and mightily in a way that God truly only knows how her story will affect the people who hear it. But what I would hope is that people can continue to love on their inner circle more. I think when I think about how much Erica loved children, you know, she was a nanny, she was a doula. She was five years older than me. So I kind of watched her during her teenage years serve many different families and such. It's a situation where I think in serving in other families in particular, she wants everybody to love more deeply on their own inner circle. So for me, you know, to love my wife more deeply, to love my triplet sons more deeply, I think she's present in all those decisions. Anytime that I put my wife first, anytime that I put my kids first. And so I think that's ultimately how she continues to impact, you know, the domestic church, if you will, you know, the most right at home, to start there, to really try to get that right. And if you put that first, so much else outside of the home just makes sense because it's coming from a place of

Practical Advice For Shattered Families

Ryan Tremblay 20:18

love.

Victor Nieves 20:18

Ryan, what advice do you have for a family that is rocked to their core? Because they just got a similar piece of news. They are told that there's a negative diagnosis, a negative prognosis, and there's a pregnancy. There's a child, an unborn baby involved in the equation. They're not sure what to do. Well, you and your family, you have walked through that fire. What advice do you have for them?

Ryan Tremblay 20:37

The first thing that comes to mind is to slow down and slow down together. I remember my mom and dad and I were in a D'Angelo's parking lot eating a sandwich together, and none of us had a word to say to one another. And when we were in that vehicle, I think we all knew that no words would really quite sum up the enormity of what we were just told, right? This was probably the next day after we received that news of what was going on. And so my thought is that slowing down, sharing a meal, being with one another, it's going to be a journey and a new chapter. So to think of it as anything else, or to think of it in some sort of way, even where you have ultimate control, I would say what's most important is to offer every day to God, offer every moment to him, and he will draw close to you in those moments, and he will make this the most beautiful story that it's meant to be. Surrendering to that instead of fighting it is so important, right? Accepting it for what it is is so important. And I would say, do the best you can to take care of yourself in the process. My sister made sure that she was health-wise and nutrition-wise doing her best during those six months. She didn't mail anything in. It was time to go ahead and, you know, preserve what she could of her health and wellness. So I think, you know, prayer, community, self-care, and we hear it so many times, but remembering your why, coming up with your why, coming up with your mission statement as to how and why you're going to do this, it truly has to be for the other and for God. And I think if doing it for those reasons, that heavenly reward, you will be blessed. And so, and your story will live on. You won't be forgotten.

Victor Nieves 22:28

Ryan, thank you for joining us today. Thank you for sharing your story and your sister Erica's story.

Ryan Tremblay 22:33

Thank you, Victor. I really appreciate your time. Thank you.

Closing Reflections And Resources

Victor Nieves 22:46

As we heard today, the story of Erica, the story of their entire family. It's been an inspiration to me, particularly, once again, the way that we see Erica truly going above and beyond. As we mentioned in the show, the Bible says that there is no greater love than somebody who gives up their lives for someone else. And in this case, it was Erica's daughter. She defied, in a way, the recommendations of the medical establishment who said, Well, this would be in your own best interest. But she decided that she was going to go above and beyond for her child. Not only is that a great example to all of us in biblical love, but it's also an inspiration and a reminder just of the significance, the importance of a sanctity of human life, to defend those that cannot defend themselves is such a noble and an honorable pursuit. If you want to learn more about Erica's story, if you want some resources and information on this topic, visit our website, lifeissues.org. Again, that's lifeissues.org. Be sure to tune in next week for another straight talk on life issues.